ライフ･ストーリー
2009
Amelia Bethany
１月 27, 2009
Amelia Bethany Oquendo. My little bundle of joy. Born into this world facing so many difficulties. But you overcame them, and you were doing so amazingly. I do not understand where something went wrong... I love you so much Mia.I still remember the early morning I started having contractions with you. I kept ignoring them because I still never felt what contractions really felt like since your big sister Angelina came much more earlier than normal. I had popcorn the night before you were born, that was the last thing me and you ate together until I finally met you. I remember I kept tossing and turning that night trying to figure out what the pains were, until it finally sank in, and I yelled, " I'M IN LABOR!" Grandpa rushed us to the hospital and I was calling your Aunty Margarita the whole time because she wanted to be in the room with us to finally meet you... It was so nervewrecking because I was so scared for you, I knew that you had to have surgery an couple weeks after birth so all of this was on my mind...... I was extrremely worried.. After awhile, the nurses started prepping me for surgery and I was terrifed. But I wanted to meet you so badly as well, so the anticipation cancelled out the nerves. After 10 to 15 minutes, you were out, you were finally your own person, an individual, and I heard your cry, your loud baby voice....so clear, so powerful and strong, I had no other way to communicate with you but to cry, I cried because your voice was that of an angels and I felt so blessed to know that you were mine, all mine. My baby..... Your Godmommy Margarita askd me, "Why are you crying, are you in pain?"... she was so worried.....but I said no, I'm not in pain, I am just so happy.....
After that they took you over to the NICU...... It was such a rush of emotions for me. I knew what pain was in your future, all the struggles you would have to face. I held your hand the hold way. I hope I made you proud Amelia...... I love you so much my angel...... The coming months would be trying.... You had 3 surgeries since birth over an 5.5 month period. The first was the ventriculostomy, creating an hold within an cerebal ventricle for drainage of excess fluid, it didn't work and you endured 12 seizures due to this surgery. Now 1 month later, you had surgery for the placement of the VP Shunt. For 2 years since it was placed, it was working absolutely fantastic. And then came your G-tube and fundalplication. You continued to vomit, barely holding anything down, so the doctors did this surgery to keep your milk from always coming up..... And we tried to feed you your bottles but your sucking reflex was very weak and barely there, so the doctors decided to place an g-tube in your belly. There, you would receive all of your milk. It terrified me to touch the tube, and clean it because I was so afraid to hurt you. I knew it was painful, even though the nurses told me no, it wasn't. I knew mama. After enduring restless nights in the NICU because I saw it in your face how tired you were of being there, how you just wanted to come home wth me already. The month of March 2010 finally came. You were finally coming home with me........ Me and your sister were finally going to be complete..... You came home precious and everything fell into place, my life took on an complete new meaning. I was an mother of two absolutely breathtaking babygirls, how lucky am I ? You progressed slowly with therapy, but the progression picked up and you were excelling amazingly. Your first Halloween, you were dressed as an Candycorn Witch and your big sister Angelina was Superwoman. I remember giving you baths and you would scream so much, you were so terrified. After an year went by, you grew into someone that much more amazing, I didn't know it could be possible to love something or someone so much....it hurts. You and your sister were and will always be my everything. After your first year, you started playing more and reacting more to your surroundings. You hated loud noises. My darling you couldn't walk or talk or sit up , but I saw that you would one day be able to do this.....I knew in my heart. You had so much personality and sassiness. Theres not enough time in the world to explain to everyone just how spectacular you were, but trust me, mamunchka, I will my love.
I vividly remember how much you loved music. And How you would get so upset when your favorite song would stop playing. Such an smart little girl. Brilliance at its best. Just seeing how smart you have become. Giving everyone kisses and playing with all of your little toys. Your were so strong too! Lifting toys in your hands, I would be so amazed to see you do this, with those tiny little tookys, ( remember thats what grandpa used to call your hands and feet) those little tookys.... You would roll over and get so frustrated at not being able to roll back, you would keep yelling "ah ah ah " like you were saying , " Mom, please roll me back now!". I really love those moment's. I used to love taking you to therapy and seeing the reactions everyone would make when they saw you coming. They all loved you so much, especially your therapists Monica and Kristen. You really didn't enjoy therapy as much as I would've hoped, but sooner or later you slowly slowly started to get the hang of it. You hated it so much at first, I had to have your therapy sessions at home because all you would do at MCH is scream! I remember Halloween so much too. We went trick or treating and your little self fell asleep but we still continued collecting an candy. Your little bag was full to the top.
And when we went back ome, I threw all of you and your sister's candy out on the bed, and I laid you and Angelina around it, and I took so many pictures. It was the best. Then you and your sister started humming together. I couldn't believe how well you were interacting with her, even though you had your moments when you were just over it and would scream as if you were saying, "Okay! Enough already !" I loved it so much. I love you so much. I would tell you to let me smell the foot, and you would raise your foot up directly to my nose! And I would say bite the nose, and you would open your little mouth so wide and aim it directly for my nose, with your little white choppers. And those eyes.....Mia your eyes were so radiant.....everyone that met you completely melted over your eyes and your eyelashes, I so miss you....... I long to see you. I hear your voice in your big sister's voice at times....I hear you breathing... Not seeing you in the mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights.....are excruciating. I miss talking to you, singing to you. You would repeat everything! I would say da da da da and you would repeat ! I would say no no no and you would shake your head left and right..... I remember how grandpa would bring you in the kitchen and putting your little feet on the floor so it would look like you were walking ! It was the most adorable and funniest thing ever. And our walks in the park, Coral Reef 152nd park. You adored that park. I would go running with you but everytime I stopped, you would scream and sometimes I would stand still but push the stroller back and forth, but no, you were not having it, you knew the difference of the movements, thats how smart you were. I miss hearing you coo..... Your sister misses you dearly as well. Even though she can't say it, I know she does in her heart.. We love you princess.
I can only imagine how Becky misses licking your little feetys and you would giggle so much ! Your laughter was the best sound in the world. It made me run in and call your grandma and grandpa to be in the room and watch you just have an laughter attack! We have so many videos of you laughing, playing, watching you listen to every single sound around you. It was something else to watch you, watch you embrace the world surrounding you. I love you princess. All your presents santa brought you for Christmas are still here with me, unopened or touched. I'm saving them for you princess. Remember how much you hated the sound of the wrapping paper ripping? And of course you having the most diva personality ever, you disliked your presents but favored only two or three. Your rattle mama....Remember your rattle??? The little yellow, blue pink catepillar rattle that vibrated when tugged? I still see your little teethy marks in them. Princess Mia....I love you my darling girl.
9月 27, 2009
１月 12, 2012
Passed away on January 12, 2012.